The Beginning of the rest of our lives.

I have finally gotten to the point that I can start writing and putting my thoughts to paper or internet for the world to see. Short intro, my soul mate and I were High school sweethearts that had spent nearly 20 years apart and found our way back to each other. I cannot put into words how happy we all were. It’s just like the ending to every rom com we have ever hoped or dreamed about growing up. The nearly 20 years that we were apart he never married, he later told me he just couldn’t see himself with anyone else and said if he ever got another chance after breaking my heart at 16, he would take it and never look back. Sadly, I was a divorcee after 17 years and 2 beautiful children. I have always loved the song by Rascal Flatt’s The Broken Road, that led me straight to you. My husband Dane had self medicated for many years and struggled with Alcoholism and Drug addiction. He had many attempts at sobriety through different rehab facilities and just trying to white knuckle it himself at times. He was in a year long program before he and I rekindled and he did really well and remained sober for at least 6 months or so after his graduation. Dane has always had the most beautiful heart and I believe that some are so overly sensitive that they turn to what numbs that in them. He worried (cared) constantly and his anxiety ruled every aspect of his life. So if he was drinking or under the influence of drugs he wasn’t feeling or even thinking about his fears. Of course when he and I got back together after all those years I realized that it was all very much deeper than just partying and living a carefree life. He was just trying to live. I made sure that he got professional help and he was put on the proper medication. We both were Christians, or what we thought. We both had said the so called sinner’s prayer, both of us had been water baptized and we both had went to church inconsistently most of our lives. We were believers and like so many we didn’t pray until we needed to. On April 20, 2018 Our lives were forever changed. My husband had relapsed several weeks prior to that day because I had noticed a big change in his personality and behavior but I had no idea of what and how much. He had started out scrapping metal on the weekends and during his free time to make extra money and I believe wholeheartedly it started innocently. None of the decisions that were made that day were made by the true character of Dane. He was caught scoping out someone else’s property for items he could scrap. He didn’t break an entering like the local newspaper claimed but I sure wished he had because being locked up and serving his time would’ve been a much better outcome. Instead a local police officer arrived on the scene and very unlike Dane, he jumped in his vehicle running from the police officer. He ended up running a red light at an intersection and was struck by another car, it sent the Ford Explorer into an end over end tumble and then a barrel roll then ejecting him from the vehicle. He was found underneath the truck. The local law enforcement and medics were sure he was gone but one heard him gurgling and he was flown to UAB. Earlier that morning I remember he and I being awakened by giggles and squeals of our 1 year old daughter at the time. I had eventually drifted back to sleep and was awakened the second time to my parents screaming up our staircase, saying to hurry that Dane had been in a car accident. My mom grabs Avery Kate and I immediately started making calls and reading messages. My Dad insisted on driving me to my in-laws and as we made it to the intersection there it was, the unrecognizable Ford Explorer that we had just bought together just a few weeks prior. I was in shock and remained silent as me and my in-laws drove almost 2 hours to UAB Hospital. I do remember just calling on the name of Jesus over and over again to myself. As we arrived some very special family members were there to check on him because they were working near there. I was informed that he was being moved to the Neuro Unit and family could go to the waiting room. I do remember so many precious people visiting us, bringing food, gift cards, and just their prayers and presence in the waiting of our living nightmare. Dane and I had only been married since December and it was April and my birthday. The Neurosurgeon came and asked for permission to put a drain in by drilling into his skull to manage the fluid and to control the swelling and pressure on his brain. I gave consent but I just kept thinking how did we get here Lord….and why is this happening to us? We just got everything we ever wanted. We were together with 3 beautiful children, degrees and sobriety. Now I am being told he has suffered a traumatic brain injury, several broken bones and vertebrae in his neck and we’re looking at several major surgeries and he’s in a coma he may never awake from. What exactly got us there?! Well, the drug was Adderall and it can change the entire makeup of your brain when taken in mass doses. He was doing things and making impulsive decisions that were not something he would have ever done in his right mind. I am thankful we serve a very loving sovereign God that didn’t cause this to happen but allowed it. Jeremiah 29:12-13 says,” Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.” When you read and study the word of God and really seek him he will give you a wisdom and understanding through the Holy Spirit and in time that produces change. If we are truly following him then our lives become very different than they were before. In biblical days we weren’t called Christians but followers of the way. A lot of people want to be saved from Hell but they don’t want a Lord in their lives to follow. Lordship comes with obedience as we grow closer to him by prayer, reading and studying the word of God, and becoming a part of the body of Christ by serving and surrounding ourselves with like-minded brothers and sisters. It took this shaking in our lives to draw closer to him and become totally dependent on him. No longer did we have anything holding us back from God and his true restoration and healing. Just sweet surrender. I pray that The Lord continues to use our story to help others to draw closer to him. If it helps one, it’s worth it. Thank you for following❤️


Published by mbarclay6

I am a follower of Jesus Christ, I’m a widow and mother to 3 beautiful children, I was my husband's caregiver for 5 years and I will forever cherish that time. He had suffered a spinal cord injury and a traumatic brain injury. He was a C7 complete quadriplegic and a recovering addict and alcoholic. He lived the remainder of his life completely healed of his addiction and shared the gospel and love of Christ. He later developed a rare genetic disorder causing colon cancer. He transitioned home with our Lord on 8-22-22. We were first loves, and had broken up very young and after 20 years apart found our way back to each other. I was a divorcée with 2 teenagers in nursing school and he had never married. After we married the Lord gave Dane all he had ever wanted, a little girl. A year later, fear stepped in, he relapsed and was in a tragic car wreck causing paralysis. The last 5 years of his life were his best years although he was confined to a wheelchair he had never been more free. Our life has been nothing short of a miracle and I am grateful to God that he is using our story to help others to know Jesus. Our tragic losses and suffering brought us to the only one that can restore our lives and heal our broken hearts. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Typically When this scripture is used in sermons today they’re referring to marriage but this can be applied in every aspect of our lives. We need him in every relationship, our professions and in our finances. If we do not have that 3rd strand none of those things will uphold during the storms of life. I will be honored that you have decided to follow my blog and to share it with others that need encouragement in their valleys. Praying for y’all! ~Missy

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